Tomorrow I go on my annual holiday - and none of your matching M and S shorts and polo shirts, none of your "Johnnie Foreigner" food with olive oil and salads, no golden sands and blue seas. Hah! Perish the thought !
I'm off to Scarborough for the day, train hauled by a steam loco polluting the air of North Yorkshire, huddling on the rain-lashed, windswept prom looking at a sea the colour of a second-hand army greatcoat having dined on fish and chips (cooked in enough beef dripping to clog up the Dartford Tunnel, never mind an artery) with a pint of warm Tetley's. None of that cold lager stuff or poncey red wine !
Now that's the kind of thing the Empire was founded on ......... and probably what the Empire foundered on too!
I'm just checking out my thermal underwear, thick cord trousers, Ganzy, stockman's coat and plastic folding pacamac hood, prior to packing the egg and tomato sandwiches and making up the flask of tea.
Given the vagaries of transport in U.K., it will probably take as long to get there as a flight to Rodos and ferry to Symi, so I won't even miss the travel experience !
Jealous .......me ?
