Someone once recounted dwile flonking to me thus:
There are two teams, comprising as many players as will, plus a ceilidh band and an umpire. Equipment needed comprises a bucket of stale beer, a barrel of real ale, tapped, spiled and ready to serve with as many pint mugs as there are players, a pole about the size of a broom handle (the flonker) and an old tea towel-sized piece of cotton cloth (the dwile). A coin is tossed to determine which side goes in (as in cricket) and the other team go out onto the playing pitch (preferably grass) and form a circle. A member of the other team (the dwile flonker) - usually the best shot in the team, goes out into the middle of this circle, armed with the flonker, on the end of which is the dwile, which has been soaked in the bucket of stale beer. The umpire then blindfolds the dwile flonker and, on a given command, the ceilidh band strikes up a merry tune and the fielding team all dance clockwise in a circle around the dwile flonker, who turns anticlockwise on the spot, holding his flonker erect. At any point the music can stop; when it does, the dwile flonker used the flonker to hurl the dwile with the intention of catching one of the fielders with it. The fielders can of course run away if they want. A hit fielder is an out fielder, and has to retire to the side of the playing field, ideally for ale sustenance. This process is repeated until all the fielders are out, then the out side comes in and the in side goes out. Should a dwile flonker fail to hit a fielder with the dwile on three successive occasions, he has to down a pint of ale, whilst the fielders shout "pot, pot, pot...". Scoring is straightforward but can become arbitrary and confused as the contest wears on. Clothing can be anything, but traditional English Morris attire is best suited for the spectacle and the jingly bells. Any questions?
by Sapphire » 11 Sep 2006, 09:10 
I mean, we have cheese rolling competitions ... and bog snorkelling. Surely it's not just in the UK that things like this happen 
!!!!!
