Today is ........

by **Dave** » 16 Nov 2006, 12:37

Today is the first proper day of a two week break from work for me (after spending most of yesterday sleeping off some night shifts). YeeeeeHa! Goddam my old sombrero !
I strolled into the kitchen to get the tea that starts the day and I need someone's help.
Can anyone forge a letter from my Mum to She Who Must Be Obeyed giving the married man's equivalent of "Please excuse my son from P.T. lessons this week because he's broken a shoelace ". ?

.
.
.
There, next to the kettle, were two A4 sheets of paper with jobs to be done over the next two weeks ! :cry:

Still, she hasn't seen that bottle of Cloudy Bay I picked up yesterday, otherwise there may have been a comment or three ! :geek:

by **Kojak** » 16 Nov 2006, 15:51

Hmm, if you very very brave, or more likely foolhardy you could leave a list of your own detailing shirts to be ironed, rooms to be hoovered, dinners to be made.... I should check your life insurance first though. Also a very handy hint I learned very young:- Always leave the door open if you are going to set your cheek up!

by **Sweet Sue** » 16 Nov 2006, 16:17

Dave, don't even think of doing as Kojak suggested unless, of course, you want to use those 2 sheets of A4 paper to mop the bood up!!

by **Allan** » 16 Nov 2006, 16:49

Dave used to be in the Marines you know Sue.

He's not going to be scared of a mere woman surely? :twisted:

by **Dave** » 16 Nov 2006, 17:18

I'm not scared of a mere woman at all !
But the very idea of "a mere woman" does not compute, Captain. The "mere woman" is as mythical as Pegasus !
A mere woman ? Have you met Gail ?

Allan, this situation is "nature, red in tooth and claw" ! Attenborough could get a whole new series out of it ! :twisted:

If she ever finds out that I'm better at D.I.Y. than I let on, I'm dead meat ! :idea:

( I've rattled off the ones which show immediate effect and don't take more than a few minutes to complete ( wiring in a new hall light fitting, renewing a halgen spot in the bathroom, moved the dust around in the front room - leaving a bit so she knows it has been done but not 100% well, plus one or two others) and ostentatiously crossed them out on the list.
A dutiful husband, see !

Tonight's seafood risotto is prepared and ready to be started and I've done the difficult answers in the crossword to start her off. Now - where's that damned corkscrew ? :geek:

by **Kojak** » 16 Nov 2006, 22:08

Hah! - Are you a man or a mouse? :?:

Why, only this morning I pointed out to a female colleague that men were far superior at parking, hence her car being abandoned half way into the parking space..... Now.... does anyone know where I can get a computer keyboard surgically removed? :idea:

by **Dave** » 17 Nov 2006, 08:01

Mmmmm ! Keyboard surgically removing required, eh ?

Probably explains, alleged Father, why your spelling has suddenly improved - "talking" through your a**e !

by **robinbristol** » 17 Nov 2006, 19:04

A mere woman? I understand my position only too well in society and my family. My wife is only too well aware that I am mere man!

by **Dave** » 17 Nov 2006, 20:07

There you have it, Robin of Bristol ( - shome mishtake shurely, hic ! Robin of Sherwood, surely, Little John of the Forest of Dean ! You can't fool me ! I saw the Kevin Costner version ..... laying completely knackered on the beach at Dover and saying, "Tonight we will sup with my Father in Nottingham". Hell fire, that is impossible now given the M25 or the state of the railways, never mend then with onlt a salt water soaked pair of sandals !

).
After twenty-five years of wedded bliss, as a married man I know my place - always in the wrong !

by **Adriana** » 20 Nov 2006, 09:56

Always thought Kevin Costner was a bit wet...

by **Richard** » 20 Nov 2006, 12:08

Always agree with a "Super Visitor". 3 stars. Crikey, Adriana. When do you run out of space? Yes, Kevin Costner was/ is dreadful. There was a rumour that he had died before making the film. How can they tell? Just because Rickman stole the show.
Incidentally, Robin, that's a dreadful photograph on your avatar. Who took that one? Why is Herself trying to hide from you?

by **Trailer** » 20 Nov 2006, 16:27

So wot do you have to do on here to get stars then. clean replies only please.............. 8-)

by **Allan** » 20 Nov 2006, 16:40

Post four more messages Trailer!

by **Trailer** » 20 Nov 2006, 17:56

Just as I thought, based on quantity and not quality around here eh? Might have guessed.

by **Trailer** » 20 Nov 2006, 18:00

And I don't mind Kevin Costner being a bit wet. I'd rub him down with a rough towel any day :mrgreen:

. But that's probably just a girly thing. Errr no. Perhaps not

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