Grumpy Old Man audition

by **Ozzie Geoff** » 28 Nov 2006, 08:51

Monkey glands...ahhh, thats the secret of you eternal youth and
virility, young David, eh?

I wish I had some... :twisted:

Purely for research reasons...

Quick! Send some out for your cricketers!!!

by **OuVrou** » 28 Nov 2006, 10:57

Dave, you have made my day, �brie-face� - wonderful stuff. I will never go to a braaivleis again without thinking about you. To those who don�t know, a braaivleis is the South African equivalent of a barbeque and means, literally, grill meat. I found this explanation/recipe for the legendary sauce, enjoy:

Monkey Gland Sauce
The origins of the dish are shrouded in mystery although one story seems perfectly plausible. It appears that some French chefs were lured to Johannesburg to cook at the old Carlton Hotel early in the 1950�s. The rich white clients of the fine dining room had plenty of money but lacked sophistication in continental cuisine and try as they might the chefs could not please their customers with the finer nuances of delicately flavoured haute cuisine sauces accompanying the well done steaks. In desperation and with a certain amount of venom, one day, they threw every commercial sauce preparation they could lay their hands on, into the pot and pronounced the resultant mish-mash to be Monkey Gland Sauce. The sweet and sour elements in the sauce struck a chord with the predominantly Afrikaner clientele reflecting so many other dishes in their traditional repertoire � the chefs enjoyed the joke, the customers enjoyed the steak and a legend was born.
No monkeys were harmed in its compilation!

Chopped onion 100 g
Chopped garlic 20 g
Chopped chilli 10 g
Butter 30 g
Port 30 ml
Lea and Perrins Worcestershire sauce 10 ml
Tabasco sauce 10 ml
Fruit Chutney 60 g
Tomato sauce 60 g

Sweat the onions in the melted butter. Add garlic and chilli to soften. Add all other ingredients. Mix well.

by **Allan** » 28 Nov 2006, 15:19

Sounds yummy OuVrou, but 10ml of Tabasco??
Strewth, that'll be hot!

by **Dave** » 28 Nov 2006, 16:38

Nah, Allan .... Monkey Gland sauce is not hot - a tadge spicy, yes, but the over-riding flavour is a rich fruity ( from a bloody good quality chutney) flavour that shouldn't really go with a steak, but a good well hung thick steak ( calm down Geoff, "well hung" refers to the days when meat was meat and not sat in a supermarket wearing a nappy 'cos it's still bleeding!

) cooked at the most medium to rare - but preferably rare to maybe blue - lends itself so wonderfully to the sauce. You don't need much else apart from a rake of good green salad and maybe - just maybe - a baked potato lathered with rich, creamy butter !

My God, I'll be singing Saris Marais, next ! :geek:

by **Ozzie Geoff** » 29 Nov 2006, 02:19

I tend to agree with Allan, 10ml of tabasco would be enough to blow yer noggin orf.

Especially when you look at the quantity of the other ingredients. But, don't forget, the Froggie chefs were sticking it up their Africaan customers. :twisted:

You're right about supermarket steaks, Dave. I am lucky enough to have 2 Italian butchers nearby and they cut it to requirements, in my case, about an inch thick. Must remember never to go on friday or saturday morning...the place is full of Italian matrons, each buying enough meat to feed a small village.

by **Allan** » 29 Nov 2006, 10:33

Yes OG, I'm sure Dave's a fine honest sort of chap but I think I'll put his "Monkey Gland sauce is not hot" assertion in the same category as the "It's lovely and warm once you get in" comment from the nutters who've just dived over the side of the Triton on its first trip of the season!

by **Adriana** » 29 Nov 2006, 10:49

Mevrou Ball se blatjang! :twisted:

by **Dave** » 29 Nov 2006, 16:27

Allan - you have to lie now and again. You should never be the only one with tears rolling down your face in a group photograph !
But enough of Gail on our wedding photographs !

by **OuVrou** » 30 Nov 2006, 10:48

I felt very guilty about posting the monkey gland recipe without testing it first after all the Tabasco comments. So, last night, armed with two lovely fat steaks I set about it and you are absolutely right - all it needs is a couple of shakes of Tabasco. I think whoever posted the recipe had evil in mind! I made the sauce with fresh tomatoes as well as a little bottled sauce and left out the chillies and it was quite delicious. He of the hollow legs (my 16 year old) wiped the pan clean with loads of bread after his steak! And yes Adriana, I did use Mrs Ball's chutney (the spicy one) as it is now available in Sainbury's due to all the expat Southern Africans living in London. One more thing I served mashed sweet potatoes as a veggie and the combination was delish.

by **mr wotsin** » 30 Nov 2006, 13:58

I think Victoria Beckham has about as much class as Madonna, and that is less than a tea spoon full

by **Dave** » 01 Dec 2006, 15:00

Oh, come, come, Mr. Wotsin (a name) - surely Victoria Beckham has class in abundance compared with Madonna. After all, she's from Norf Landan - Madonna, Noo Yoik !

Posh knows how to shoot a line (see her latest "tome" on fashion )- Madonna (there's an oxymoron given her publicity over the years!) knows how to shoot and has a traditional estate somewhere in the south of England.
Posh knows how to sing - see her career with the Spice Girls and as a solo artist. Madonna only had a couple of minor hits !
Posh never wore a conical bra - probably not enough PlayDoh! There you go, back to basics again !

A none-starter of a discussion regarding class and style with those two, methinks

by **Sweet Sue** » 01 Dec 2006, 20:11

Mrs Balls also available here in Morrisons, along with some of the Nandos sauces.

by **Ozzie Geoff** » 02 Dec 2006, 03:32

Who's Mrs. Ball when she's home?
Is she related to the Patek family?

Madonna? She with the pechant for black infants?
Amazingly, "Madonna" is her given name. :twisted:

Maybe her parents were just optimistic?

by **Joanie** » 02 Dec 2006, 15:40

Yes who is Mrs Ball? I've had Nandos sauces and been to their resaurant but not heard of Mrs Ball.

by **Richard** » 02 Dec 2006, 16:45

From the Chakalaka SA Restaurant in Upper Richmond Road:

Lamb Bobotie (A Traditional South African Dish Of Lightly Curried Minced Lamb And Almonds, Served With Yellow Rice, Mrs Ball's Chutney, Coconut And Banana) �9.95.

They also serve Monkey Gland sauce.

by **benedetti** » 02 Dec 2006, 21:21

My Bobiti is �7.10

by **Adriana** » 04 Dec 2006, 07:55

Mrs Ball is a homely looking lady in a long dress and apron who appears on the label of South Africa's best known make of chutney. Chutney, in Afrikaans, is known by the Malay name of blatjang.

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